That Alone Time is Needed

As I’m going on this journey called Life, I’m paying more attention to myself. How I react to situations, how I speak to individuals and how I listen to individuals. I think taking the time to really understand yourself is key to living life to the fullest.

I notice that when I’m around a group of people, after a while I get quiet. I’m no longer interested in what’s going on and I tend to separate myself from the group. Literally, I will disappear and walk away for a few minutes to be alone, to recharge. I did that to a group of my friends when we traveled overseas, heck I do that to my husband at times.  From the outside it may seem like something is wrong…maybe something was said that I didn’t agree with and I just walked off…but that’s not the case. Not at all.

I just feel tired sometimes, my mind is cloudy and I feel like all my energy is being sucked out of me. I notice that this feeling comes often when I’m hanging out with friends and family consecutively.

For example, the overseas trip with some of my closest friends and my husband, I absolutely love being around them. There’s nothing but laughter and smiles, jokes, reminiscing and just an all around good time when I am hanging out with them. We had a lot of scheduled events for this trip so our morning would be rushed, our day would be busy and our nights would be full of drinking and games. Early start to the days and late endings to the nights. Well, on some days, I just found myself feeling disconnected from everything and everyone, and I would have the desire to just walk away and sit down, alone, to enjoy the moment or something. Of course, naturally, my friends and especially my husband, who’s so attentive to me (he is truly the best), kept thinking something was wrong and then of course when asked, I’m like “nothing’s wrong, I just need to be alone”. LOL…if I was in their shoes, I would def be like “No bitch…something’s wrong with you…we’re in this gorgeous country and all of a sudden you’re acting funny.” So I can only imagine the thoughts that were going through their heads.

Anywho, I realize I do this often and I really didn’t understand whyyyyyy. And when I don’t understand something about myself it annoys me to the fullest extent. What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I being so emo right now? I’m an so emotional…my emotions are jacked up.

Back to the trip…Finally one day I got up super early and just spent the morning walking around by myself. I watched the sun rise, I sat down and I just took in the moment. I got thoughts out of the way, stretched, observed my surroundings, greeted and was greeted by the locals of the area and I just felt so calm and connected with the world. Walking back to the hotel I just felt good and I was mentally ready to take on the day. And I had a great day.

Coming home, I notice that I still get that way whether it’s at work or at home and so I push myself to make alone time specifically for me. No husband, no cat (lol…sorry Coda) no phone (Social media is draining too) nothing can be there that distracts my mind and my energy.  I simply and literally have alone time. Me time. Ay Ay Time. I need to breathe. Because honestly, feeling drained will lead to me being cranky and short tempered, and that’s not fair for the people around me.

I can only speak for myself, but I am sure there are people out there that understand what this feels like. It truly is a matter of personal space and there’s nothing wrong with spending time by yourself if you feel you need to re-energize to get the day or night started.

Ay Ay ❤

 

There’s Someone That Can Relate!

 

It started off as a normal day. We finally had time to spend with each other, a rare day off. So we decided to drive around town, get something to eat, shop for new cameras and hit up Guitar Center to window shop some new gear, and we decided to vlog our day becuase…why not? This was rare.

As I’m sitting in passenger’s seat, I turn to discard my empty coffee cup. No, I didn’t just toss it in the back seat. My husband strategically placed a small trash bin behind the driver’s seat for such situations.

Upon the discard I see something…something that took my breath away. A white bag…with red words and a red logo…

A crumpled Chic-Fil-A bag.

The AUDACITY of my sweet and loving husband.

He committed the ultimate crime, and he just so happened to get it all on camera.

Ay Ay

 

This Song Right Here!

Looking for new music for the new year? Well, I was just introduced to this song performed by artist ACE TEE. The song is called “Bist du down” and it (the vibe of the song) just embodies the wonderful jams and feel of 90’s R&B and Soul.

I watched this video, which you can find on youtube, about 5 times, and while I was too busy jamming to the music and taking in all the visuals, I didn’t even notice that she wasn’t speaking English…or French. Upon straining my ears to try and recognize what language she is singing in, I realize it’s German! GO AHEAD GERMANY! I know I could have easily looked up what language she speaks…but I didn’t want to. And no, the title didn’t give it away either…I didn’t know if that was slang or what.

Anywho, check her out! If you’re down with the 90’s vibes, I’m pretty sure you’ll love this jam.

Ay Ay

End Of Year Goals

On February of this year, I dove head first into an opportunity to record an audiobook for an awesome author who’s based out of Arizona. I enjoyed reading the book and was so excited to have been chosen to record it. Now, with all this excitement I was feeling, I quickly realized how much work, time and effort goes into recording dialogue. Editing out clicks and pops, making sure each track/chapter has balanced volume, and making sure your character’s voice is consistent. Oh, and did I forget to mention how difficult it actually is to read out loud? To yourself? LOL. The first 2 chapters I felt so awkward. Trying to relay emotions and put myself into this characters’ world was pretty hard but after a few chapters I started to get the hang of it.

Now, this book has 20 chapters…that is a long time in the world of full time job. Seeing as I don’t have a soundproof room (yet) I can’t just record at any hour of the day. I didn’t realize how thin these apartment walls were until I plugged my microphone in, put my headphones on and heard EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE in the complex. With dedication must come sacrifice…and what I sacrificed was my precious sleep lol. I had to either get up super early to record before I headed off to work or wait until late at night to break out the microphone. This has all been a learning lesson and I will admit, there were times where I enjoyed recording but then there were times I almost regretted the decision to record, because this is such a huge commitment and sometimes I felt I couldn’t keep that commitment. I not only made a commitment to myself but I also made one to the author, so I needed to get the job done. I have a name I’m trying to build and me quitting on the very first project I finally landed will only tarnish my name.

I’m happy to say that out of the 20 chapters, I have 19 finished and uploaded! *Does the tootsie roll*.

With the dead season here (talking about my full time), there should be no reason why I shouldn’t have this book completed by the new year. It has literally taken me a year to record this book, but it’s all about timing with me. I need to be in the right headspace to record and not only that, I take the time to perfect my recordings. I can’t just record and upload…if I don’t like what I play back, I delete and start over.

I’m pretty excited to see what’s next to come after this audiobook is released. Will her die hard fans like the audio version of her book? Will they like how I embodied the main character? Or will they tear me to shreds?? We shall see.

Ay Ay ❤

We’ve All Had This Moment!

No wonder I can never get ready on time. I’m constantly distracted!

I know we’ve all had these days before, you know, when you’re either on someone else’s time or you have to be ready to leave by a certain time but the music simply takes over.

I hope you enjoy!!

Ay Ay ❤

When You Feel Lost, But Your Sense Of Direction Is On Point.

 

Today is December 1st!

Can’t believe that the new year is approaching. A new year normally comes with new passions and commitments which fall into that category of the “New Years Resolutions” but that’s not how I feel. I refuse to have a new years resolution. Actually, I’ve decided on a Lifestyle change.

In my previous post, I mentioned how I was resigning from my full time…which I did. I’ve never experienced a process like that. It was interesting. Having co-workers praise me (most were so shocked…they didn’t see it coming) and having supervisors and upper management express how they were sad to see me go, how they could negotiate my pay and how this company is the biggest company in the industry. None of that mattered to me though (well, I was happy that they were sad to see me go and that they wanted me to stay. It made me feel somewhat important and wanted). I just want more, and by wanting more just meant that I needed to start on my new path.

New Path = New Life…in my eyes.

November 12th was my last day with them and since then I have picked up some freelance gigs which have been great so far. Such a different world and mentality. It’s more…real…if that makes sense. Like, it’s all about grinding, something that I haven’t had to do with a full time job. But I really like it so far because it keeps me on my toes and always looking for opportunities.

But I quickly realized how scary it can be aswell. For instance, yes, I have been working here and there, picking up gigs, but when the holiday came, everything stopped. I mean EVERYTHING came to a halt. No calls, no gigs, no shifts available. I was taken aback a bit and actually started stressing out a bit. I  mean I was off for days straight, and I think I was stressed out because I just wasn’t used to being off like that. I had to really tell myself that ‘it’s the slow season right now’. Work slows down for everyone in this industry when the end of November and December hit so stop worrying. And it was true, even when I was a full time employee, when Thanksgiving hit and then December came, there was no work. Actually that’s the time that vacations were encouraged. Had I not stopped myself from worrying, I would have felt like I failed myself and that maybe I made a mistake in taking this path. Nope, we can’t have that. I live Life with no regrets.

There were some days when I felt lost and some days where I used my off time to really research this industry to see what all I needed to start to work on with myself. What I needed more training in and what tools I needed to have in my inventory. I started researching where the work was and researching all the different types of gigs I qualified for. Sitting down and really mapping out  a path for myself made me feel empowered, because I was in charge of where my career goes. No one else had the power to hold me back.

Tomorrow I work my first gig with a company that has a great reputation, especially in the convention and live music industry. And, according to other freelancers, is a hard company to get hired by, so I’m not going to mess this up. I’m pretty excited and this will officially be the first few steps taken on my New Path.

❤ AyAy

 

A New Start, A New Beginning.

For a while now I’ve been contemplating stepping away from my full time job to freelance full time. So many thoughts from that point on have crossed my mind. Like, “What about finances?” “What about stability?” “What about during the slow months?”

I’m so tired of thinking about the negative “What ifs”. That’s held me back for months now. I don’t feel challenged at my job anymore. I don’t see myself still working here in the future either. Actually, I’m very much over this job, because it’s not taking me down the path I want my career to go. I want to be an audio engineer for huge, complex shows. Concerts. Festivals. I want to learn the technical aspects of a show that’s beyond what I currently do now, and I know I won’t learn this if I stay where I’m at. All of my opportunities for these are passing me by as I go about my daily routine at my full time.

I’ve talked and worked with so many freelancers in the area and I just know I can do what they do, and for some, do an even better job. I want to be paid a full rate for my services, not have to worry about corporate bs and policies. I want control of my days, when I can take off and when I can plan trips. And I truly believe I am ready. I know I am. But this is new for me too. I only slightly know what to expect. I’ll have to work from the bottom to the top to make a name for myself amongst all the other techs that have been doing this for years.

I truly am grateful that my Husband supports my decision because it’s pretty scary stepping into the unknown…but I’m ready for the challenge. I’ve never felt so ready and I’m finally going to follow my intuition and not be afraid of change.

Tomorrow I will be telling my supervisor that I am resigning.

I know God has me.

Here’s to a new beginning ❤

Ay Ay

Fitness Sunday! VLog Day!

 

I’ve been on my newfound fitness journey for over 2 weeks now and have been feeling great! The biggest obstacles I’ve encountered were the days where I’ve had to work about 12 to 14 hour days which meant that I had no time to go jogging or really focus on working out. However, I would wake up early enough to make a nice healthy breakfast (either an egg white and kale omelette on an english muffin, or a nice strawberry, blueberry, banana and mango smoothie with peanut butter and hemp powder…simply delicious) and then prepped and brought lunch with me (veggies and brown rice) in my bento box that I would split and make it last for lunch and dinner. That would hold me over and then when I would get home at around 11pm, I would spend about 15 to 20 minutes doing plyometrics and calisthenics which would work up quite a sweat and boost my heart rate. Rinse and repeat for the next 4 days.

You know work is the worst place to be health conscious. You have nothing but unhealthy options all around you and then your co-workers do nothing but peer pressure you into going to lunch with them at a restaurant they claim has healthy options. No bueno! I’m proud to say that I stuck with my plan and succeeded like a champ!

To also help motivate me on my journey I have decided to document it as much as I can as well as my life. I actually have always been interested in shooting and editing videos because I feel that’s a great skill to have, especially in the entertainment industry and I have fallen in love with the art of editing, I just feel hella awkward being in front of the camera instead of behind it. The video above is the first video of my journey and there will be many more to come. How nice would it be 10 months from now to look back and see all the hard work I did on living a healthier life? I’m sure some of you out there can 100% relate and so I hope you enjoy the video as I enjoyed recording it and editing it!

Here’s to a healthy life!

Ay Ay ❤

Off The Paved Path

Good Morning!…Even though it’s 8:41pm right now this happened this morning so lets go back to the beginning of the day.

I was able to drag, crawl and pull myself out of bed and go outside to enjoy a morning jog which turned into a mini hike! So freeeeeeaaaking proud of myself! It may not seem like such a huge deal, but for the past months I have fallen off of my healthy eating lifestyle and have been making some horrible food decisions. Of course there’s no one to blame but me and I know that even though I can work anywhere from 12 to 16 hour days back to back at my insane job, if only I had put a little more preparation and effort into making and taking my own breakfast, lunch and dinner to work, I would be better off.

For the past 2 weeks my body has been trying to tell me something by way of making me throw up in the mornings and feeling sluggish during the daytime. I have yet to go back to my doctor because I honestly feel like I already know what it is. Nope, I haven’t been blessed with the makings of a ‘mini me’ yet (already checked) but I do know it has something to do with my excessive eating and lack of care for my body.

I felt so sick this morning but was able to get up, get my workout clothes on (which is THE HARDEST step to do for me) and walk out the door to my car. I drove to a nature reserve right down the street and the whole way there I just knew I was gonna throw up. But I didn’t…and then when I got out of the car I had that…urge…not to throw up anymore…but to…you know…use the bathroom…like you know….USE THE BATHROOM… . But the strange thing was, once I actually started to do my warm ups and stretch and once I started jogging on the jog trail, I felt so much better. All my body wanted me to do was MOVE and SWEAT. I legit felt like the toxins were seeping out my skin and almost any other exit…atleast when I first started my work out, and as I found a nice pace the sickness subsided and I was able to actually enjoy the burn I felt in my thighs as I ran up and down hills.

The nature reserve is actually very large, but there is a portion of the jog path that precedes the parking area. It’s where the end of the neighborhood meets the beginning of the reserve, and that is where the jog path actually begins. That spot is approximately 1 mile from the parking lot so I jogged from my car to that spot and then on the way back there are all these hiking trails that extend all over the place with such gorgeous views of the reserve, and so I decided to jog/hike them.

“I call this ‘Adrienne in the Lord of the Wonderlands!'”-as if I have just discovered a new land

I took this at one of the cliffs that the many hiking trails lead to. Doesn’t it look like a scene out of Alice in Wonderland? Lord of the Rings? Or some other Tim Burton/ Peter Jackson type movie?

Along the way I would stop at such places and do stationary lunges and stretches, trying to get back in tune with the body I have let go. I felt so good. If anything, just being outdoors and breathing fresh air is the perfect start to my cure.  I will still make an appointment with my doctor to make sure I am indeed okay, but when I tell you I ran and felt the toxins exit my body, I was being 100% honest.

This nature reserve is so vast and that inspires me to get up and get out to enjoy every part of it through jogs and hikes. I’ll start slow, with jogging that first mile and hiking the mile back and then will slowly extend my jogs to include the rest of the 13 plus miles that exist in this reserve. I know I’m the only one that is responsible for my actions and reactions so I’m happy to have gotten myself up this morning to jog because had I not, I would still be stuck in that harsh cycle of trash foods and my heart rate not being anywhere above whatever it is when I walk from my apt door to my car.

Summer isn’t my vacation time, it’s my time to find myself again and oh how I’ve missed me.

❤ Ay Ay

 

 

 

 

When Confidence Pays Off!

So, remember a couple of posts way back when where I mentioned that I was an AV Technician? Well, let me specify what I actually excel in. I’m an audio engineer who now works in LA and it’s beautiful surrounding areas. I get to do some exciting events where I run the audio for awards ceremonies, big and small, conferences, bands, galas, fashion shows, keynote presentations (think Apple Keynote…however I have NOT had the pleasure of working that specific show…it’s in San Francisco lol). It’s a job that I love because it takes me to the coolest places and I meet some of the most interesting people from all over the world.

One of my biggest accomplishments came when I had the awesome opportunity to work on the 43rd Annual Daytime Emmys Awards which was recorded to television on May 1, 2016. You know, the awards show that recognizes Daytime television…the stuff I don’t get to watch because I work about 14 hours a day. But thanks to Youtube I catch up on all my Wendy Williams episodes.

Anywho, I had the great opportunity to work the monitor mixer for the live band for the show. Now, if you have no clue what that even means I will gladly explain away. When you watch an awards show on TV there is always a live band that can be heard playing from somewhere. Normally you’ll hear the music being played during the introduction of the show, when the host walks on stage, when a nominee wins an award, before and after commercial breaks, during a tribute performance and when the show concludes. Well, the band needs to be able to hear what is happening during the show. They need to hear when categories are announced, when someone is introduced on stage, they need to hear themselves as well as their bandmate’s instruments…they just need to hear so they can hit their cues on time and play in tempo and in tune. So someone has to be the one to make sure they hear EVERYTHING and I was THAT PERSON during the Daytime Emmys!I  have never been so excinervoanxious is my life. Yes, that jumble of words I just wrote is exactly how I felt, excited nervous anxious….I was too lazy to really write it all. This was a BROADCAST show…a world that is completely unknown to me because my world has revolved around live production….not TV and Film. The terminology between my team and their teams were foreign BUT IT WAS SO FUN!! And such a great learning experience!! Who else gets to work with producers, directors, set designers and audio mixers for shows like America’s Got Talent, or American Idol?!?! Who else has to move her audio station backstage because television just can’t have the monitor mixer up in the shot when they do a close up of the band?!?! Who else was sitting backstage where all the actors, actresses and daytime talkshow hosts were running, standing, partying around?!?!? WHO ELSE DID MARIO LOPEZ WALK UP TO JUST TO ASK IF HE NEEDED TO BE ON THIS SIDE OF THE STAGE OR ON THE OTHER SIDE?!?!? The answer to all those important questions are: ME!!!! *Insert me doing some sort of celebratory, Afro-Brazilian tribal dance right here*.

Ahem…sorry about that…but I just had to get it out. Back to the story.

Luckily we had two and a half days to set up and rehearse so by day number two I was already getting along with team audio and we had our game plan set and solid!

I was on the Yamaha M7CL 48 channel console which is my go to board only because I just know it sooooo well and I had to send 11 individual mixes to the band members because each band member needs to hear different instruments when they play as well as vocals and such. I won’t get into most of the technical details because this would be such a long blog post but just know that when and if you ever decide to go back and re-watch the 43rd Annual Daytime Emmys, that music you hear….that band that you see by way of the camera pans and zooms….when you see that red curtain that they’re standing in front of, just know that this girl, THIS GIRL, was behind that curtain running that 48 channel digital mixer and that is why the band played on cue and in pitch lol!

So now….still waiting on Beyonce to give me a call to let me know she’s ready to hire a Female FOH/Monitor Mixer.

Ay Ay